Secretly, Secretly; But Unable to Hide it (偷偷藏不住) by Zhu Yi (竹已)~ Chapter 78

Recently she hasn’t been able to sleep soundly, moreover last night she couldn’t sleep very well. Sang Zhi sleeps so soundly and doesn’t wake up early. In the morning, she feels her head is so heavy, she couldn’t turn her head around. For a time, she couldn’t describe the feeling.

She lays down on her bed and be startled for a while. She then flips her body and looks at the alarm on the bedside table. She notices that it’s already 12:00 a.m.

Then she notices the upside down photo frame

She takes a deep breath and puts it up.

She looks at it. In that photo, she was so little, she is still tender and young. She extends her hand and touches Duan Jia Xu’s photo, she suddenly remembers what she did yesterday.

She covers the photo again.

That time she wasn’t too mindful of his action, but now when she thinks about it, she feels like ‘trying to cover up a misdeed, only to make it more conspicuous’.

She watches it for several seconds, Sang Zhi mumbles in low voice: “Couldn’t he change it into another photo?”

Sang Zhi just sits up and then lets the blanket falls down from her body.

She looks at what she is wearing, she is wearing a loose t-shirt. She could see the red marks on her body. Sang Zhi just realizes that she is wearing Duan Jia Xu’s clothes. She only wears a t-shirt and nothing else.

She feels the aching is lighten.

She gets off the bed and doesn’t feel too uncomfortable. There’s only a slight feeling of unwell. She feels that wearing only t-shirt makes her feel naked. She wants to go back to the master bedroom and wears her own clothes.

Before she reaches for the door, the door is opened.

Duan Jia Xu opens the door, he notices Sang Zhi’s appearance. He raises his eyebrow and examines her. Then he looks at her on the eyes.

Seeing him makes Sang Zhi remembers what did happen last night.

Her face starts to become hot.

Now she doesn’t know how should she act in front of him.

Sang Zhi looks over at the other place and asks: “You don’t need to work?”

Duan Jia Xu: “I’m taking a day off.”

Sang Zhi strokes her head and nods: “I’ll go freshen up.”

Duan Jia Xu just says “Em.” Yet he keeps on watching her. He seems to not want to move away. He lowers his head like he wants to kiss her.

Sang Zhi immediately covers her lips: “I haven’t brushed my teeth.”

Duan Jia Xu laughs and just kisses her hand. He looks down and notices the exposed red mark on her body. He strokes a red mark for a while and says gently: “Why it looks like that you are really in pain?”

Sang Zhi: “Ah?”

He sounds like he is comforting, yet he doesn’t seem to be feel guilty.

“Next time I’ll be even more careful.”

—–

Sang Zhi returns to her room and changes her clothes. She also goes to the bathroom to freshen up. She recalls what Duan Jia Xu said before, she pauses for a while.

Then she recalls what happened last night after ‘I didn’t say no”. Then she feels so shy about it.

In her mind, several images replays.

The image of Sang Yan asked her without any expression. “Could you be more reserved?”

Sang Zhi pursues her lips and washes her face.

Forget it.

Anyway he knows everything.

Sang Zhi then recalls her conversation with her roommates: “Twenty five years old inexperienced man would be a pervert ah!”

“……”

Though he seems a bit.

But he shouldn’t be a pervert.

—–

Sang Zhi exits the bedroom.

Duan Jia Xu stands up near the dining table, he pours the porridge to the bowl. He is wearing a loose top so Sang Zhi could see the red marks she made on his body.

She then looks at the other place.

“Come over and eat.” Duan Jia Xu lifts up his eyes: “Don’t starve yourself.”

Sang Zhi sits down on her chair and asks. “When did you wakeup?”

Duan Jia Xu puts a bowl in front of her. “I woke a bit earlier than you.”

Sang Zhi: “Oh.”

Duan Jia Xu also sits down on the chair and asks: “Are you still in pain?”

“……” Sang Zhi lowers her head and drinks her porridge, she says with a very little voice: “No.”

“I’m still a bit in pain.”

Hearing this, Sang Zhi looks at him.

Duan Jia Xu pulls his collar a bit and shows the red kiss mark made by her like he wants to be comforted by her. “Look, you bit me so hard.”

He says giddly.

He acts like ‘the villain that sues his victim before himself is prosecuted.’.

Sang Zhi couldn’t control herself, she also does the same thing as him. She pulls her collar to one side and frowns. She says: “You didn’t bite me?”

“….”

“This, this this.” Since he speaks up first, she also doesn’t give him a chance to avoid the conversation. She points to her red bite mark one by one. “Do you have a bad habit of eating people?”

Duan Jia Xu is startled,, then he laughs. He looks at her face then stops at a certain place. He smiles with full of interests: “Where else?”

“……”

“Didn’t I also bite….”

Sang Zhi responds and cuts him off. “Duan Jia Xu!”

Duan Jia Xu doesn’t continue to say it, he licks his lips and says: “How could everything about our Zhi Zhi is so small.”

“……..” Though it’s the truth, yet Sang Zhi is still feel insulted. She is unhappy and speaks up: “You are the small one.”

Duan Jia Xu raises his eyebrows: “I’m small ah?”

Sang Zhi says boldly: “Small.”

Then in next moment, Duan Jia Xu holds her hand and takes it to touch a certain place. “Small or not?”

Sang Zhi: “……”

“Em?”

—–

At this moment, Sang Zhi starts to be a bit regretful. She feels that this old man seems to have unsealed something. He isn’t that restrained and reserved. He turns to be frank and mad.

But she couldn’t deny that this man for the ‘bed’ business, he is patience and unruly… he is also a sexy man.

Sang Zhi couldn’t count how many times he has seduced him.

She strokes her aching hand and finishes her food.

After a while, Duan Jia Xu comes out from the bathroom. He takes a shower and changes his clothes. He sits down beside her and asks: “What do you want to do today?”

Sang Zhi doesn’t mind him.

Duan Jia Xu wants to say something, but suddenly his phone on the table rings. He looks at the screen and his expression just changes. He answers it quickly: “Ni Hao (Hi.).”

Sang Zhi watches him, but she couldn’t hear what the caller is saying. Duan Jia Xu from time to time just replies a short wood. At last Duan Jia Xu says: “Okay, I’ll come over now.”

The time he ends the call, Sang Zhi asks: “Who is it?”

Duan Jia Xu: “My Pa’s doctor.”

“…..” Sang Zhi is startled: “What is it?”

Duan Jia Xu looks a bit in bad mood, he says calmly: “He has a lung infection, he is not in a very good condition. His doctor advises to move him to the city hospital. He asks me to come over to handle the administration.”

Sang Zhi swallows all the porridge and says cautiously: “Let me accompany you?”

Duan Jia Xu looks at her and smiles lightly.

“Okay.”

—–

Sang Zhi has come over to the hospital for several time, yet it’s the first time she comes to this institution.

The atmosphere here is a bit poor but it’s too peaceful. The person on the sickbed looks unwell, he doesn’t move, there’s seem no life in him.

It’s the first time Sang Zhi meets Duan Jia Xu’s father.

His father looks so old and so skinny.

Sang Zhi couldn’t make out any features of Duan Jia Xu on him.

The doctor is explaining the current condition of Duan Jia Xu’s father.

He has been laying there for twenty years, Duan Zhi Cheng’s health is deteriorating. In addition he also has a lung infection so it’s not a good news.

Though the doctor is being indirect, yet he tells that Duan Zhi Cheng might not live for long.

Duan Jia Xu just listens to him and says nothing.

Though Sang Zhi never knows Duan Zhi Cheng but looking at his appearance, Sang Zhi also feels sorry for him. She couldn’t help but to glance at Duan Jia Xu, she couldn’t make out his feeling right now.

He seems to notice her gaze so Duan Jia Xu looks at her too.

Sang Zhi holds his hand to comfort him.

Duan Jia Xu just holds her hand back and smiles: “Go and help to buy me a bottle of water. Before I saw, there’s convenient store nearby.”

Sang Zhi nods: “Em.”

“When you are done, don’t run around.”

Sang Zhi could guess that he wants to send her away, he might want to say something to Duan Zhi Cheng. She hugs him for a while and says with a low voice. “Then you should wait here for me, I’ll be back soon.”

“Em.”

Duan Jia Xu watches Sang Zhi leaves then he sits down beside DuanZhi Cheng’s bed. He takes back his smile and says: “I heard from the doctor, you should be able to hear me right.”

“……”

“These years I never say anything to you.” Duan Jia Xu is calm, his tone is flat. “I’m afraid that you might not recognize my voice. So let me tell you first, I am Duan Jia Xu.”

“Your son.”

“To be exact this has been twenty years.” Duan Jia Xu says, “If that time you didn’t jump from the building, now you should be out of the jail.”

“I don’t know whether Ma had told you or not.”

He doesn’t get any reply.

The man on the sickbed even couldn’t move his eyes.

Duan Jia Xu is like talking to himself.

“Our apartment was sold, it was used to compensate the victim family. The remaining money, the saving, basically it’s all for you.” Duan Jia Xu couldn’t help but to laugh. “Because we kept on borrowing money, no relatives one to interact with us.”

“Then your wife, Xu Ruo Shu, has passed away since eight years ago. Because she was sick and got cancer.”

“I got into Nan Wu university and just came back for winter and summer vacation. She actually realized that she was unwell but because we had no money, she kept on delaying and she didn’t tell me.” Duan Jia Xu says: “Afterwards the time we went to the hospital to have a check up, the doctor said that it’s too late.”

“I couldn’t believe it, I went to the major hospital to check up again, I even borrowed 30,000 Yuan from my classmate. She knew about it and she just collapsed. She kept on crying and begging me to return the money.

“Because of your huge sum of medical bills, because of my tuition fee, because all the necessities of life.” Duan Jia Xu says lightly: “Because we had no money.”

“Because of you.”

“After ma passed away, at first I had no plan to come back.” Duan Jia Xu says: “I want to work there and settle down. But I keep on hoping that you’ll wake up.”

Duan Jia Xu feels though his father does a lot of bad things. But he is the only closest relative that he had.

“I hope you could see everything now.”

“I hope that you’ll be guilty after you see it, you would be so heartbroken.”

“I want to see it. I want you to understand that if you don’t avoid your responsibility, if you accept the mistake.” Duan Jia Xu’s eyes turn red, his voice turns hoarse: “Our life would be so different.”

Xu Ruo Shu would be still alive.

You also would be out of jail.

All the sins are well-punished.

He would be able to raise up his head and be confident about himself.

The life might not be that well but it should be better than now.

It wouldn’t be a life that I should bear alone. A life that is dark and trapped.