Secretly, Secretly; But Unable to Hide it (偷偷藏不住) by Zhu Yi (竹已)~ Chapter 54

Duan Jia Xu coughs lightly like he is enduring his urge to laugh. He just says: “Em.”

Sang Zhi adds stiffly: “you should hang up now.”

“Wait.” Sang Yan says: “Duan Jia Xu, you are older than me right?”

Duan Jia Xu says flatly: “Why?”

Sang Yan: “My Mei’s boyfriend is older than me.”

“Em. He seems to be in the same age as me.”

It’s a silent after that.

Sang Yan seems to be furious. “Don’t tell me……”

Sang Zhi is worried, she has no courage to confess, she just cuts him off. “No, of course NOT. Ge Ge, what are you thinking!”

Sang Yan says coldly: “What did I say, why are you saying no?”

Sang Zhi tries to control her emotion and says unhappily: “How could anyone not know what are you about to say?”

Sang Yan: “you guys are having dinner together?”

Sang Zhi is confident: “Yes, Jia Xu Ge’s birthday. I come to find him to eat dinner. I am not like you. How could you not remember his birthday, you even have face to say that my present for him is coming from you.”

Duan Jia Xu is quiet and listens to the brother and sister’s fight.

Sang Yan mocks: “Da Lao Ye Men (Adult men) celebrate birthday, it’s too unreasonable.”

“…….”

Sang Yan finally just says: “Okay, you guys go to have dinner. Also Xiao Gui, remember to not go back to the dorm too late. Bye.”

The atmosphere inside the car is too quiet.

Sang Zhi feels really awkward.

Sang Zhi pretends to be calm and just plays with her phone.

According to what happened before, she could conclude that for everything she said to Sang Yan, Sang Yan would tell it to Duan Jia Xu. How could this Duan Jia Xu pretends like he knows nothing.”

Supposedly everyday this old man is laughing about her acting.

Indeed.

After a while.

Duan Jia Xu asks her: “What boyfriend?”

Sang Zhi just sits up and explains seriously: “I and My Ge said that I maybe will date. I didn’t say that I already date him.”

He laughs lightly: “Graduate student?”

“…..”

Duan Jia Xu: “Now do I have enough time to go and take the test?”

Sang Zhi feels embarrassed, she continues to pretend to be dead.

“If I don’t then in the future what should I tell your Ge?” Duan Jia Xu says, “Say that you and that graduate student are not so you are with me, okay?”

Sang Zhi just says; “How could I be with you?”

Duan Jia Xu laughs: “You even lay your cards with your Ge, how could you not admit it?”

Sang Zhi: “Couldn’t I like a graduate student?”

Hearing this, Duan Jia Xu raises his eyebrow: “I only have undergraduate degree.”

“…….”

His every sentences are suggesting something.

The person you say though the age or the appearance might not be matched with me.

That person could only be me.

Sang Zhi looks at him and suddenly feels unlucky. She says: “Do you know it from the start?”

Duan Jia Xu looks at her: “What do I know?”

Sang Zhi says nothing.

The time the traffic light turns red, Duan Jia Xu glances at her.

She lowers her head, she is not smiling, her eyes are drooping. He couldn’t make it out what is on her mind. But it’s clear that she is unhappy.

It’s really obvious.

He should pretend that nothing is happened.

Duan Jia Xu feels that this is funny. “I’m asking you a serious matter.”

Sang Zhi says in low voice: “What?”

Duan Jia Xu: “You really don’t like me?”

Sang Zhi looks at him and her frown smooths out. She turns quiet for several seconds and looks at the window. This time finally she releases her breath. She says ambiguously: “Just a bit.”

“Okay.”

Sang Zhi says oddly: “You only react this way?”

Duan Jia Xu: “Em?”

“Why don’t you say to me.” Sang Zhi also feels that she is too unreasonable, she mumbles: “It’s clear that you like you but I don’t accept you. Every day I wait for you to chase after you.”

“But didn’t you say that you only like me a bit?” Duan Jia Xu doesn’t really care, he is thinking a reason for her. “Supposedly it’s not yet till the step where we should be together.”

Sang Zhi says nothing.

The car passes the supermarket near Duan Jia Xu’s apartment. He finds a parking space and teases her: “Our Zhi Zhi is dating for the first time, you should have a lot of worries. Ge Ge understands it.”

Sang Zhi couldn’t help but to say: “What if I keep on being stubborn to not accepting you?”

Duan Jia Xu helps her to unfasten her seatbelt, he raises his eyebrow: “Then everyday you just wait for Ge Ge to pursue after you.”

“…….”

Duan Jia Xu ponders about it for a while and smiles lightly: “Then in this life time supposedly you could only date for once.”

Sang Zhi doesn’t deny but her expression is awkward.

Duan Jia Xu looks at her eyes, he smiles. Then he speaks up, his voice is gentle. He acts like he is pampering her: “So if other little girls have it….”

“……..”

“Our Zhi Zhi should have it too.”

—–

They both enter the supermarket.

Duan Jia Xu wants to come over to buy a bit of vegetables and meats. They will cook dinner. He goes to the seafood area, Sang Zhi doesn’t follow him, she goes to the snack area and picks up a lot of snacks.

Then she goes back to Duan Jia Xu’s side and places a whole lot of snacks inside the shopping cart.

She comes and goes.

The fourth time she returns back to Duan Jia Xu’s side, the shopping cart is half full. Basically all of it is hers.

He takes a box of chicken wings and puts it inside the shopping cart. He says: “Are you going to live in my house?”

Sang Zhi chokes: “I buy all of these for you.”

Duan Jia Xu takes a pack of jellies from her grip: “For me?”

“The time you are greedy, you could take one to eat it. If you don’t eat, you could just let it be. If I have time, I’ll come to help you eat it.” Sang Zhi says shamelessly: “I also like all of these, it will not be wasteful.”

Duan Jia Xu laughs: “Also?”

“What?” Sang Zhi says: “I also never see you eat any snack. I also don’t know what do you like to eat. I just could take what I like.”

Duan Jia Xu looks at all of the snacks and comments: “The snacks that a little girl likes.”

Sang Zhi is quiet for two seconds and says unwillingly: “Then I’ll return all of it back.”

Duan Jia Xu pushes the shopping cart and goes to the vegetables section. “Why should you return it back?”

Sang Zhi is like his tail, she follows him everywhere. She mumbles “Don’t you say that all of these are little girl’s favorite?”

Duan Jia Xu says calmly: “Em, I raise one at home.”

Sang Zhi is startled and stops walking. She blushes and follows behind him again. She doesn’t go to the snack area anymore. She goes with Duan Jia Xu to choose several vegetables.

Duan Jia Xu looks at Sang Zhi and asks: “You aren’t going to choose several more snacks?”

Sang Zhi: “I have nothing else I want to buy.”

“Then let’s pay?”

“Em.”

Sang Zhi looks at the shopping cart and asks: “Jia Xu Ge, you could cook?”

Duan Jia Xu: “Just a bit.”

Sang Zhi thinks about it: “Later on I’ll cook Chang Shou Mian (birthday noodles) for you.”

“You could cook that?”

“…….” Sang Zhi says innocently: “Just boil the water, throw the noodle inside, and it’s done right?”

Duan Jia Xu raises his eyebrow: “Would it taste good?”

“Isn’t it only for ritual only, how could it tastes good?” Sang Zhi says and walks to take the noodle. “Go and queue first, I’ll go buy the birthday noodle first.”

“……..”

They both leave the supermarket and return back to Duan Jia Xu’s house.

She is afraid that the cake will be ruined so Sang Zhi just changes her slipper then places the cake inside the fridge. Duan Jia Xu tidies up all of the things that they bought before then he goes to the kitchen. He washes the grain of rice and cook it.

Sang Zhi follows inside to help.

Duan Jia Xu: “Are you hungry?”

Sang Zhi shakes her head: “I’m okay.”

Duan Jia Xu washes a box of cherry tomatoes and stuffs one to her mouth. Then he passes the box to her: “Hold this, go outside and watch TV.”

Sang Zhi doesn’t refuse: “I want to cook birthday noodle for you.”

She takes out her phone and looks for birthday noodle recipe: “You do yours, no need to mind me.”

“……..”

She looks her serious appearance, Duan Jia Xu doesn’t stop her. He smiles and couldn’t help but to laugh.

Both of them are doing their own things. Sang Zhi just occupies the place near the electromagnetic cooker and sometimes uses chopping board and knife. Duan Jia Xu wants to come over to help him, but she is annoyed and drives him out.

Cooking a noodle doesn’t need a long time.

But Sang Zhi never cooks. Since she was young, she even never cooks any instant noodle. She is moving slowly. The time she is cutting her veggies, she always be slow and cautious, she is afraid to see a blood in this good day.

When the rice is cooked, Duan Jia Xu’s three dishes and one soup are done. Sang Zhi feels extremely embarrassed to see her cooked birthday noodle.

Sang Zhi hasn’t tasted it, she is alarmed when she places the noodle in front of Duan Jia Xu.

Duan Jia Xu raises up his eyebrow: “I have cooked everything for you, let’s eat.”

Sang Zhi doesn’t dare to imagine the taste of the noodle. She hesitates and says: “Don’t eat this noodle, just regard it as a sense of ceremony. I heard from my friend that they would cook this for birthday….”

Duan Jia Xu says gently: “Let me try, If it’s not tasty then I’ll not eat it, okay?”

Sang Zhi sits down and agrees reluctantly: “Okay.”

In the small living room, the atmosphere is soft and sweet.

Sang Zhi starts to eat, but her gaze is on djx. She wants to see his expression when he tastes this noodle. She watches him pick some of it with his chopsticks and stuffs it inside his mouth. He chews gently.

There’s no change of expression.

In a next moment, Duan Jia Xu smiles: “It’s quite tasty.”

Sang Zhi couldn’t believe it, she says hesitatingly: “Really?”

Duan Jia Xu: “Em.”

Sang Zhi: “Then let me try a bit.”

Duan Jia Xu raises his eyebrows: “Indirect kiss?”

“…..” Sang Zhi finds it’s hard to explain in few words: “I’ll use a new chopsticks to eat.”

“No.” Duan Jia Xu refuses gently: “Don’t take advantage of Ge Ge.”

“……”

—–

After the meal, Sang Zhi takes out the birthday cake box from the fridge. She tears open the plastic of the birthday candles and smiles: “Jia Xu gGe, take out the birthday cake out of the box. There’re words on it.”

Duan Jia Xu does as she says. He takes a look and reads: “Wishing the twenty six years old Duan Jia Xu a happy birthday.”

Sang Zhi blinks “I even requested specially to the shop assistant for a pack of candles.”

“Oh, right.” Sang Zhi takes out another plastic bag, “The shop assistant also gave me birthday party hat. Wear it.”

Duan Jia Xu finds this is hilarious: “What is that?”

Sang Zhi looks at it and helps him to wear it. “This is an imperial crown, today you are King Duan.”

“Em?” Duan Jia Xu laughs and says: “Why I’m not Princess Duan?”

Sang Zhi attacks him. “With your age, how could you be princess?”

On the cake, it’s written “twenty six” so Sang Zhi also doesn’t insist to stick in twenty six candles. She just lights on several candles and sings happy birthday for him. Then she says seriously to him. “Make a wish.”

Duan Jia Xu makes a wish and says: “I hope that next year will also be like this.”

Then he blows the candle.

Sang Zhi hasn’t responded. In the dark, “What do you mean like this?”

Duan Jia Xu turns on the light and says carelessly: “Next year you also pick me up to celebrate my birthday.”

“How could you make that kind of wish?” She feels it’s weird. She gives the present to him. “Your present.”

Duan Jia Xu takes it: “Thank you.”

It’s several seconds of silence, Sang Zhi suddenly thinks of something. She raises up her head and says dully: “Jia Xu Ge, let me ask you something.”

“Em?”

“If, I say if, we are really together. If we don’t feel we are suitable for each other, then we break up.” Sang Zhi asks with a soft voice,” Afterwards we also will not communicate with each other.”

Hearing this, Duan Jia Xu’s eyes move.

Very quickly Sang Zhi responds, she feels that it is indeed inappropriate to discuss about this matter now. She adds: “I am just asking this randomly.”

Duan Jia Xu cuts off the cake and says clearly and loudly: “You don’t trust me?’

“…..” Sang Zhi is quiet, “I don’t mean that.”

Duan Jia Xu: “Is it because I usually act not too serious?”

Sang Zhi says nothing.

Duan Jia Xu smiles: “It seems look like that.”

Sang Zhi says slowly: “I don’t mean that.”

“Sang Zhi, if you feel that in the future we will separate, that indeed it’s inappropriate. If you don’t accept me, then I also will have no way to force you.” Duan Jia Xu looks at her eyes, “but if you are accepting me, and you still mention about breaking up–“

“….”

He stops talking, his eyebrow is raised up again. He smiles like an evildoer: “Have you ever see me be angry?’

Sang Zhi clutches her sleeve and looks at him.

Duan Jia Xu lowers his voice and pinches her cheek intimately.

“It’s too frightening.”

—–

These words stop that time.

Afterwards Duan Jia Xu never mentions about it anymore, Sang Zhi also acts like she never asks him about that question.

Looking that it’s time to go home, Duan Jia Xu sends Sang Zhi back to her dorm.

After freshen up, Sang Zhi continues to do her own things but her mind is blank. She couldn’t focus on her work. She recalls that she is having a thought.

Actually she knows what are her worries.

Sang Zhi doesn’t worry whether Duan Jia Xu will treat her well or not.

She knows what kind of person he is.

But she would worry, perhaps he doesn’t really like her.

Though he doesn’t like her, it’s highly probable that he wouldn’t mention about breaking up with her. He would only try to persevere their relationship because of his high sense of responsibilities.

It would be too hurtful for both of the parties.

Is it because she is unreasonable.

Being with him, it’s clear that it’s been her long expectation. But the time it is happening, she is considering of loss and gain. She is insecure.

She is so insecure that she even doesn’t have courage to accept him.

—–

Sang Zhi tries to abandon her thoughts, as before she maintain her ways in interacting with Duan Jia Xu. A lot of times, when she is determined to be with him, yet she couldn’t say it.

Duan Jia Xu seems to notice her strangeness, so he comes to look for much more than before.

Sang Zhi doesn’t know how to tell him about her worries.

After all, she also doesn’t willing to tell him that she has been liking him since she was thirteen years old.

She also doesn’t know how could she solve this insignificant thing.

In an instant, it’s the end of May.

In the end of Friday at night 07:00 p.m, Sang Zhi and her classmates go out to have a dinner party. She is talking with a female student. The time she comes out of the university front gate, she notices Jiang Ying, who is standing under the tree.

Sang Zhi is startled and looks at her with uncertainty.

Just in time, their gazes meet each other.

Very quickly Sang Zhi looks at the other place, she completely doesn’t expect her to come to meet her. She just feels that this is getting weird.

She continues to talk with her friend and walks with them to the barbecue restaurant nearby.

At this time, a lot of people are inside the restaurant.

One of her classmates is there to take the tables for all of them. Sang Zhi comes over and has a seat. After a while, she notices a table for two people is being cleaned. Then there’s a guest sitting down there.

That guest is Jiang Ying.

Once again, their gazes meet each other.

Sang Zhi looks at her and this moment she feels that this Jiang Ying is coming to meet her.

But why Jiang Ying is coming over to look for her.

Moreover how could she know that she is here.

Sang Zhi couldn’t understand it but she also doesn’t mind her. She lowers her head and drinks her water.

Sang Zhi seems to just come over to eat, she doesn’t take initiative to find trouble for Sang Zhi. But her gaze is on Sang Zhi. Her gaze makes Sang Zhi feels uncomfortable.

Sang Zhi simply asks her friend, who is sitting in front of her, to change position. She gradually forgets about Jiang Ying.

After eating, Sang Zhi stands up and goes to the restroom. She wants to go wash her hands and redoes her makeup. She has no plan to do anything else.

Before she washes her hand, she notices that Jiang Ying also comes inside the restroom. Sang Zhi glances at her but she says nothing. She presses the soap dispenser button and washes her hand.

Jiang Ying takes out a lipstick and indeed she speaks up: “You are Duan Jia Xu’s new girlfriend?”

Sang Zhi says nothing.

“That’s right, college students are easily deceived.” Jiang Ying smiles and says: “Luckily I meet you here, I just want to remind you. In the past he had joined hundred of blind dates. Do you know why couldn’t he find a suitable one?”

Sang Zhi says expressionlessly: “What do you mean luckily? You are taking initiative to meet you.”

“I just don’t want to see a little girl like you being misled okay?” Jiang Ying says flatly: “Do you know that now he has a Papa, who is laying down inside the hospital with a vegetative state?”

Sang Zhi stops washing her hand.

“It seems he never mentions it to you.” Jiang Ying notices Sang Zhi’s action. She smiles. “Let me tell you one more secret, his Papa is also a dirty swine that drove while intoxicated and knocked down and killed someone with a car.”

“……..”

“In a year, he pays almost hundred thousand for medical expenses for that dirty swine.” Jiang Ying says, “which woman would be that rich to be with that man, he even doesn’t have a house.”

Sang Zhi lifts her head up and doesn’t seem to be affected by her words. She says with a natural voice: “I have money.”

“…….”

It’s obvious that Jiang Ying didn’t expect Sang Zhi’s answer, Jiang Ying’s expression turns sour: “His Papa killed someone, he is a murderer. Are you listening to me?”

Sang Zhi says slowly: “Is it possible that I will marry to his Pa?”

“……”

Sang Zhi doesn’t want to stay with Jiang Ying any longer, she even doesn’t redo her makeup. She just takes a tissue and wipes her hans.

Jiang Ying couldn’t maintain her calm expression any longer, she suddenly throws her lipstick to Sang Zhi: “Are you understand my words? Are you crazy? How could you not understand me?”

The lipstick is small so it’s not hurting Sang Zhi.

But in just a flash, it makes Sang Zhi so angry.

Sang Zhi looks at the lipstick and laughs coldly. She holds her bag and throws it back to Jiang Ying’s face. She says: “Who would want to be used to your craziness?”

“……..”

Jiang Ying’s body retreats a step, she turns silent for a while then she smiles: “Who do you think?”

“……”

“Duan Jia Xu ah.”

Both parties are refusing to budge.

Sang Zhi looks at her; “A Yi (Auntie), if you think so, then why should you look for me today?”

“……”

“You have time to do all of this.” Sang Zhi picks up her bag again and says sarcastically: “It’s better for you to spend your time to take a good care of your appearance. If not the time you stand beside Duan Jia Xu, I’ll think that you are his Mama’s friend.”

Then Sang Zhi goes out of the restroom.

Jiang Ying is so furious, she immediately follows her out. She clutches Sang Zhi’s arm and raises her arm.

Just in time Liang Jun also comes out of the male restroom. Looking at this situation, he is startled and immediately drags Sang Zhi’s arm to stand behind him. He scolds Jiang Ying: “What are you going to do?!”

“…….”

Jiang Ying is silent, she just watches Sang Zhi. Then she just returns to her table.

Liang Jun asks whether Sang Zhi is okay. Sang Zhi just makes a vague excuse. She also returns to her seat. She turns inattentive. She looks at her phone and recalls continuously what Jiang Ying said to her.

After the dinner ends, her friends decide to to the bar to play games.

Sang Zhi follows them. But she is not really interested in it. She recalls about the night Duan Jia Xu stayed over her house. The time he was smoking on the balcony.

She remembers his words: “Xiao Sang Zhi in the future when you have earned money, you need to buy a beautiful dress for yourself to wear.”

She remembers that during his college time, he always had a lot of part-time jobs.

She remembers that the time he was sick, he didn’t go to the hospital. On New Year’s Day or other festivals he passes it all by himself.

She recalls his recent life, it seems that he is living a much more bright and cheerful life.

She remembers his smiling appearance, his appearance when he winks and smiles to her. So if other little girls have it, our Zhi Zhi should have it too.”

She suddenly feels enlightened. Her worries seem to be solved. Sang Zhi feels her brain is heating, she suddenly stands up and says goodbye to everyone. “I have things to do, I’ll leave first.”

—-

The time she arrives in front of Duan Jia Xu’s apartment building, luckily someone is opening the front gate.

Sang Zhi follows that person, her mind is blank. She enters the elevator and goes to Duan Jia Xu’s apartment floor. Then she stands in front of her apartment. She releases her breath and presses the bell.

The door is opened quickly.

Duan Jia Xu seems to just finish his shower, his hair is really wet. Sang Zhi could smell a strong peppermint fragrance on him. He is startled, he doesn’t expect that she would come over.

He looks at her and approaches her, he asks confusedly: “Why are you here?”

Sang Zhi also watches him and doesn’t answer his question. She feels impulsive that she could finally say what she is longing to say. She says frankly: “Could you keep on liking me?”

Anyway it’s me who like you first.

So I want to keep being by your side.

Though there’s might be a possibility that you don’t really like me.

I seem to be not suffering any loss.

Duan Jia Xu hasn’t responded, he acts like he is dreaming. He speaks out his subconsciously thought: “Yes.”

Sang Zhi just inhales: “Then—“

“Wait.” Duan Jia Xu smiles, “What are you doing?”

Without waiting for Sang Zhi’s words, Duan Jia Xu already pulls her inside the apartment. “Come inside first.”

“….”

“Tell me.” Duan Jia Xu says patiently: “What happened?”

“I think that today is a suitable one.” Sang Zhi says lowly, “So I don’t want to wait.”

Duan Jia Xu stops breathing, he just realizes that she is not joking: “Are you drinking?”

Sang Zhi: “NO.”

Duan Jia Xu: “You agree to be together with me?”

“Em.”

It is several seconds of silence.

Duan Jia Xu suddenly holds her chin and raises up her face. His dark eyes fix on her eyes. His Adam Apple moves and once again he confirms: “You have think it clearly?”

Sang Zhi looks at his eyes too.

“Em.”

Finally he gets a firm answer from her.

They are close to each other, the temperature seems to raise up. Duan Jia Xu looks at her lips and suddenly speaks up with a hoarse voice: “Open up your lip.”

Sang Zhi hasn’t responded well.

“Ah” Her lips open up.

In a next moment, he says enthusiastically and gentle.

“Ge Ge will teach you how to kiss.”