The day of award ceremony for the earthquake rescue mission, Xu Qin goes to the hospital. She changes into her white doctor’s robe and goes together to the award ceremony venue with her colleagues.
The time they arrive at the venue, there are several military personnels arriving too. Those men are in high spirit.
The doctors and nurses are mostly women. Those military personnels are at leisure, they steal a glance at those women.
Xu Qin and her colleagues enter the assembly hall, she watches the military personnels are getting inside the hall too.
Xu Qin looks around. Suddenly she could see Song Yan. He seems to notice her too, he looks over and blinks toward her.
She smiles and sits down. She turns her head and looks at him again. It’s great that no one is blocking her sight.
After a while, Xu Qin stands up and goes toward the restroom.
The time she is out of the restroom, she bumps into Song Yan. He is wearing his military uniform and holding his military hat on his hand. He is standing on the corridor. He looks so impressive.
She smiles and runs over toward him. “You come to follow me?”
“Em, I come over to look at you. It’s hard to meet you.” He says and looks at her.
She puts her hands on her pocket and feels a bit restrained: “It’s a bit weird to wear this doctor’s robe when I am not at work. But the leader asks us too.”
“It’s great.” Song Yan says, he asks: “How is your hand?”
She lifts up her wrist and shows it to him. The wound has formed a scab. He looks at it and rubs around the scab. “It would be better soon.”
“Em.” She smiles and looks at him.
“What are you looking at?”
“You are so handsome in this suit.” Xu Qin says and touch his military uniform. The material is rough. “Could you wear it at home?”
“You like it?”
She nods: “Yes.”
“Okay.” He says to her with a low voice: “Next time I would take it home to show it to you. What about you? Could you bring this doctor’s robe home?”
“Of course.” She says. Her face just turns red.
He smiles: “Okay, we settle on this.”
Someone is coming over so he lets her go. He says: “Get inside.”
“Em.”
Both of them are sitting at the different sections. Song Yan gets inside the assembly hall first.
Xu Qin gets inside from another door. When she is about to get in, she bumps into someone: “Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor Xu)?”
She lifts up her head.
It’s Lu Jie.
She doesn’t have a good impression toward him, she just nods without expression.
“I didn’t expect to meet you right here.” Lu Jie is still a friendly guy: “Song Yan should be here too, but I haven’t met him.”
Xu Qin doesn’t have heart to talk to him, she says: “The ceremony would start soon, I would get in first.”
Yet Lu Jie misunderstands her, he thinks that she is unhappy because he mentions Song Yan’s name.
They both get ready to let each other go.
But Lu Jie finally couldn’t control it, he asks her: “Is there no chance for you and Song Yan?”
There’s no one around.
Xu Qin stops and looks at Lu Jie: “What do you mean?”
Lu Jie smiles disappointedly: “I just feel that he has been loving you for so many years. It’s a pity. That time for you he got into the military school. For you, he worked hard to be a special forces solider. These years he was suffering badly, why couldn’t you guys be together?”
Xu Qin is startled: “He…. What military school, special force soldier?”
………….
Inside the assembly hall, the MC gets into the stage: “In five minutes, we will start. Please take your seat.”
Song Yan glances at Xu Qin’s seat, but it’s empty.
It’s been ten minutes, yet she hasn’t come in. He frowns.
……………
Outside the assembly hall.
Xu Qin stands there with a pale face.
She imagines what Lu Jie said to her.
He said that Song Yan was the one who bear hardships, he was the most working hard man. ….. He endured all of that. But he was tortured, he got into interrogation under torture, he just bear all of it.
He worked hard all day to finish all the mission. Till the last time, he suddenly framed to be the traitor who sold military secret.
Lu Jie said that he remembers that day clearly. Song Yan was disarmed and dragged out in front of all the people. Then Lu Jie got information that he had executed to violate the serious matter. Lu Jie thought that Song Yan would be dead.
He knows that Song Yan isn’t that kind of person, but he also has no way to help him. He also still doesn’t know who wants to frame him. He always thought that Song Yan is dead till their last encounter at the earthquake site. He was absurd that he just asked: “You are not dead?”
Xu Qin replays that moment.
Doesn’t know who want to make him dead.
She remembers Fu Wen Ying’s face. “His name is Song….. what is it?”
She recalls that half years ago, Di Miao was scolding her: “You almost killed my Ge, why isn’t it enough?”
She feels nauseous, she was shocked.
She feels overwhelmed.
Xu Qin stands there and pants. She walks a step outside and a security guard stops her, he drgas her inside the assembly hall: “The ceremony would start soon, why are you still moving slowly, hurry up get in!”
She is pushed inside the assembly hall, she could see the stage, people with military uniform.
She stands there, her body is trembling. She doesn’t know where should she go. Xiao Nan runs over to hold her: “Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor Xu), where were you? Hurry up take a seat! This is a live broadcasting!”
She is forced back to return to her seat, the music has started and the performance is started too.
Her eyes are losing focus, she doesn’t know what’s going on.
Song Yan could only look at her head.
After the song, the MC gets on the stage. They are leading to sing another song. Xu Qin sits down, she feels a lot of emotion. She wants to throw up. She feels, she couldn’t sit still anymore. Every second feels like a torture.
The time she almost wants to run away, she suddenly hears her own name: “Di San Yi Yuan (The third hospital) burn injury department, Xu Qin…..”
She suddenly regains herself as someone beside her pushes her. It’s her turn. She and Song Yan should go on the stage.
She returns her head, she also sees Song Yan stands up from his seat to get on the stage. So she also stands up and walks toward the stage.
Her face is so pale.
She and Song Yan meet each other on the center of the stage. He takes a look at her. He feels something is wrong with her. But at this moment, he couldn’t say anything to her.
The MC starts to explain that these two people are those who helped the baby.
Then it’s time for her to give a speech. “It’s what I should do, my duty is a doctor is to help people.”
She doesn’t say too much words, the MC praises her: “Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor Xu) is not good at words. She said few things yet she did a lot of things.”
Xu Qin is startled. The one who always talks less and does a lot of things, isn’t it the man beside her?
She feels so sad, she couldn’t control her emotion. This moment she just wants to get off the stage. But someone is still talking.
Another military soldier gets on the stage.
She and Song Yan shift their position. Song Yan asks her: “What is it? Are you unwell?”
She says: “I have a stomachache.”
He says with a low voice: “Hold it for a while, we would go down soon.”
“Em.” She looks at his side face. After getting on the stage, she keeps on avoiding his gaze. She is afraid that she would cry soon. This moment she could only see his calm side face.
Xu Qin blinks and reminds herself to be calm as they are on the stage. He seems to be looking at something. She follows his gaze and notices that he is watching other soldiers and military personnels that are getting awards too.
He is looking at his military uniform and looking around again.
Xu Qin suddenly thinks of what happened that night, how Song Yan looked at those soldiers.
He was envious of those men.
He was like a little boy who looks enviously at the other children who have remote control aircraft and tank.
Her tears are on the rim of the eye.
She turns her head away and her tears just fall down. She wipes it. All the people seem to think that she is touched, so they don’t think that it is weird.
Finally the leader comes over to present the certificates of merit for each of them. Everyone is applauding them and they could return back to their seat.
The time they are allowed to return back to their own seat, Xu Qin doesn’t return back to her seat, she just goes outside the venue.
She still wears her white doctor robe, she takes taxi and just goes to the west.
An half hour later, she arrives at Meng family residence.
The maid opens the door and tells her that people are inside the living room.
Xu Qin doesn’t even change her shoes, she just directly goes to the living room.
Meng Huai Jin and Fu Wen Ying are enjoying their afternoon tea. When they are looking at her, they are surprised.
Fu Wen Ying doesn’t plan to mind her, her face is cold. She frowns when she notices Xu Qin is still wearing her shoes. “What are you doign?”
Xu Qin looks at Fu Wen Ying and asks: “Was it you? Was it you who almost killed Song Yan six or seven years ago?”
Fu Wen Ying’s face changes, she pauses for a second. Then she answers: “Who told you that?”
Xu Qin just understands that it’s true. Her tears fall down.
The living room is quiet. No one speaks up, no one tries to say anything.
She wipes her tears and looks at Meng Huai Jin. “Pa, did you also take part in it?”
Meng Huai Jin frowns and shakes his head: “Qin Qin, Papa doesn’t know how to explain this.”
Fu Wen Ying: “This matter is unrelated to your Pa, he just knows it afterwards.”
She deemphasizes it, she says nothing, she doesn’t apologize or even explain.
Xu Qin stands there and her whole body is trembling for a whole minute. No one is talking. They act like that is nothing big. It’s just a small mater.
But this time, she couldn’t let it go.
She wipes her tears carelessly again and says with a low voice:
“Ma, I always think of you as my biological Mama. I never hate you. Even the time you oppose me to be with Song Yan, how you attack me, ignore me, even the time you try to meddle with my work. I also never hate me…….. I always think, I always want to take initiative to good with you. always think that your temper is just like that. It’s not that you don’t think of me as your daughter. ………”
Saying this, she just releases her breath. Then she continues to say calmly but her tears are still there. She couldn’t control her feeling anymore. She just cries. “I’m just a stupid one. I am the tool that you guys raised up, I’m a tool that you hope could help you guys through marriage connection. Because this tool has temper, it wants to have feeling. It starts to not listen to you. You are afraid that it would break away from your control so you ruin the people it loves. So it would be nothing!”
She cries so hard: “You guys think of me as your daughter? NO!….. You guys just a LIAR!”
She looks at Meng Huai Jin, her tears keeps on coming.
“When you picked me up from the orphanage, didn’t you say that the time I come home with you, you would be my Papa, you said that you would love me like a Papa. You said it to me! You are the one that said it personally to me!…….. LIAR, LIAR!”
Meng Huai Jin’s eyes get teary. He says nothing.
Fu Wen Ying couldn’t sit still anymore, she says sternly: “How could you talk with your parents with that attitude?! These years we had educated with the best education, is it gone?! Is there any perfect parents in this world?! You remember clearly what we do wrong, but for the good things you seem to forget it. These years, who raised you up, who took care of you when you were sick? Who helped you when you were mistreated? You live here for so many years. How could you, for a man, how could you want to break up with your parents because of a man? I’m not a perfect Mama, but do you think you are a perfect daughter too?!”
She is stern. Xu Qin stops.
She looks at her blankly and her tears start to mottle.
Meng Huai Jin sighs.
Fu Wen Ying says coldly: “Qin Qin, for what Mama did, I would admit it. But you also need to think carefully. You feel that I let you down, but as a daughter, don’t you let me down too!”
“Hypocrite!” Xu Qin says.
“What did you says?”
“Hypocrite! I let you down? I just fall in love with him. You said that he doesn’t deserve me. What is your right to say so? You did those things, what is your right? Just because you believe yourself to be noble, then you could trample other people’s like like they just ants? You attacked them secretly. What is your right to say that he doesn’t deserve me? You are the one that doesn’t deserve me. You even don’t deserve to be regarded as “a good person”!”
Fu Wen Ying’s face changes and stands up: “If you dare to say one more thing, I ——“
“Then kill me!” Xu Qin’s eyes turn red: “I will not listen to you anymore, so kill me!”
Fu Wen Ying is startled, she doesn’t expect her to be this rebellious.
Xu Qin pants and says: “For what he experienced, the time he almost lost his life, I wouldn’t look into it. In the future, I would have no relationship with you guys. I warn you to not hurt him. Yes in your eyes, I am nothing. But for him, I would die.”
She says it and turns her body to leave. Yet she notices the family photo hanging on the wall. On the photo, Meng Huai Jin and Fu Wen Ying were sitting on the long chair, she and Meng Yan Chen were standing on each sides.
They looked happy.
She looks at that photo. Her tears are falling. She suddenly just cries out loud.
Meng Huai Jin sees her stop and he stands up: “Qin Qin ah——“
In a next second, Xu Qin runs over and holds the photo frame. She smashes it strongly to the ground. The frame is broken and the glass is shattered everywhere.
She then runs outside.
The living room turns quiet.
Meng Huai Jin covers his eyes and sits down.
Fu Wen Ying stands still and pursues her lips. She tries to control herself. She sits down, yet she feels something ——
Meng Yan Chen is standing on the staircase near the living room, his face is pale.
88tangeatdrinkread 
This is rollercoaster!
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