Secretly, Secretly; But Unable to Hide it (偷偷藏不住) by Zhu Yi (竹已)~ Chapter 72

“Indeed I’m not young anymore.” Duan Jia Xu doesn’t really mind her words, he is calm and composed: “Then you should have pity one me?”

Sang Zhi lifts up her head and acts serious. She answers gently: “I’ll consider it.”

At first he was joking so he didn’t really think too much about it. He pinches Sang Zhi’s face gently and looks at the time and asks: “Where do you want to go now? Do you want to go and watch movie?”

After few minutes to consider, Sang Zhi shakes her head.

Duan Jia Xu says patiently: “Then let me send you home to the dorm?”

Sang Zhi stands there and doesn’t move. She suddenly makes a request: “I want you to carry me on piggyback.”

“You couldn’t walk.” Duan Jia Xu says and kneels down. “Get on.”

Sang Zhi just lays on her stomach on his back, she hugs his neck. The next moment, Duan Jia Xu just stands up and he asks her: “You really just drank a bit?”

“Not even half of the glass.” Sang Zhi places her chin close to his neck, she says to him: “It’s like drinking a Coca- cola.”

Duan Jia Xu: “Then next time just drink Coca- cola.”

They walk for a while.

Because of the angle, she could only see Duan Jia Xu’s half face. “Am I heavy?”

Duan Jia Xu: “No.”

Sang Zhi feels dissatisfied. “Why don’t you talk more about it? Say words like how could you be so light.”

Duan Jia Xu pauses and laughs: “It’s my mistake, I am not so considerate.”

Very quickly he says what she said: “How could you be so light?”

“Today I think I am much heavier.” Sang Zhi says: “My down jacket is heavy. If I take him off, supposedly you would feel like carrying an air.”

Duan Jia Xu controls his laughter: “Now you are light too.”

He keeps on walking.

Sang Zhi calls after him: “Duan Jia Xu.”

“Em?”

“Today I submitted my product.” Sang Zhi mumbles about what happened today: “Recently I kept on doing my product for the competition. Every day I would change my design, I am so sick of it.”

Duan Jia Xu: “Oh it’s done?”

“Em.” Sang Zhi says, “But the result wouldn’t be out soon, we need to wait till the end of the semester.”

“Then you should have a rest.”

“I want to get the award. I heard from them that this competition is much more prestigious. There would be a lot of influential people coming over during the ceremony. Maybe they would look upon me.” Sang Zhi mutters, “Then after the graduation, then my days would be bright. I would get few thousands Yuan for salary.”

Duan Jia Xu: “You don’t plan to take Master degree?”

“No.” Sang Zhi says depressingly: “But I think I wouldn’t be able to get the award. There are too much great people. I feel I draw like a Shi (feces).”

Hearing this, Duan JIa Xu looks at her: “Xiao Gu Niang should say more civilized words.”

Sang Zhi looks at him. She blinks and leans over, she kisses his cheek. Looking at how he startles, she smiles and kisses him again.

“You even could do se*ual entrapment ah?” Duan Jia Xu raises his eyebrow, he laughs and asks: “I carry you this way, would it influence how you express your feeling?”

“Just a bit.” Sang Zhi realizes that he has been carrying her for a moment. “Are you tired? If not it’s better for me to get off and walk by myself.”

“How long has it been?” Duan Jia Xu teases her: “I am also not that old, I wouldn’t be tired and lack of energy after carrying you for several steps.”

Hearing this, Sang Zhi turns silent. Then she explains: “I don’t think that you are old.”

Duan Jia Xu: “Really?”

“Em, I’m just joking with you.” Duan Jia Xu doesn’t know what Sang Zhi is thinking currently. Sang Zhi just buries her face on his neck, her voice turns light. She repeats: “I don’t think that you are old.”

Hearing the change in her voice, Duan Jia Xu looks at her again: “What is it?”

Sang Zhi lifts up her head and looks at his face. She feels so sad suddenly.

She suddenly thinks about this period of time, no matter how she try to talk to Li Ping, Li Ping seems to still act the same way. She remembers that day, Duan Jia Xu laughed at himself and said to her: “I’m afraid that you’ll mind.”

But it’s clear that matter is unrelated to him.

It’s obvious there’s no relation.

Yet because of that matter, he lowers down his status more than he should be. Because of that, he is treated unfairly. She thinks if Duan Jia Xu knows about Li Ping’s thought, he should be unhappy.

Sang Zhi’s eyes turn red, she pursues her lips and lowers her head again. She sobs. “I don’t think that you are old. I just feel…. I’m too young.”

Duan Jia Xu couldn’t understand her: “What?”

Though usually she doesn’t think that way.

Yet everyone seems to think that she is too young.

Everyone seems to think that she and Duan Jia Xu are together because an impulse; they are together without considering the future; Everyone acts like they should remind her to make her see clearly that this path isn’t suitable for her.

If she is a bit older.

She would have graduated and have a steady and stable job. She could be more economically dependent, she could do anything by her own. That time if she mentions about her relationship with Duan Jia Xu, her parents supposedly could be easily persuaded.

She has considered that a lot.

She thought previously that external factors wouldn’t shake off their relationship.

She always wishes to grow up quickly, to be a grown-up woman.

But the seven years gap, it’s like her forever pursuit.

“Why am I nineteen years old?” Sang Zhi couldn’t control herself, her tears fall down. “Why couldn’t I be twenty nine years old, I don’t want to be so young?”

Currently except for studying hard to make a better future, she couldn’t do anything.

Duan Jia Xu feels something wet on his neck, he frowns: “What happened?”

“The time I am twenty nine years old, I should have money.” Sang Zhi chokes and sobs. “I also don’t mean to provide for you, I would just give the money for you, for you to spend…..”

“……..” Duan Jia Xu stops walking for a while, but then he continues to walk. “Why do you always want to give money to me for me to spend?”

“Then you could be more relaxed.”

Duan Jia Xu smiles: “Now I am not living so tiredly.”

“How could you say that you are not living so tiredly?” Sang Zhi’s eyes are teary. She extends her hand to stroke his head. “You always work overtime, you always stay up till late. You even have big dark circles under your eyes. You even lose a lot of hair.”

Duan Jia Xu says: “What do you mean big dark circles under my eyes, losing a lot of hair. Don’t start a rumor.”

Sang Zhi continues to say: “If now I am twenty nine years old, I’ll be three years older than you. My Ge supposedly wouldn’t hit you. Qian Fei Ge supposedly wouldn’t scold you to be a rogue.”

“It wouldn’t do,” Duan Jia Xu says: “Ge Ge likes a younger one.”

“…..” Sang Zhi wipes her tears and says: “Then what if I turn older?”

“Even you are older, you will be still younger than me.”

Sang Zhi doesn’t refute.

Duan Jia Xu finds this to be hilarious, he says: “You are crying because you are young, are you trying to ‘poke a knife on my heart’?”

Looking at how he smiles, Sang Zhi hugs his neck tighter. She moves her head closer to his ear. She calls him in a low voice: “Duan Jia Xu.”

“Em.”

“Are you happy now?”

“Em.”

Sang Zhi says very seriously: “Then you need to be happy everyday.”

The next moment, Duan Jia Xu casts his head to her face. He uses his tip of the nose to rub against her cheek.

“Then you should stay beside me everyday.”

—–

At first Duan Jia Xu wants to take Sang Zhi back home to her dorm, but from the start Sang Zhi doesn’t plan to go home. Her mood is much better now. She doesn’t let him to carry her again, she just gets off his back.

Both of them are chatting with each other.

Duan Jia Xu turns silent for a while then asks: “Is there anyone talking anything to you?”

Sang Zhi doesn’t plan to tell him, she shakes her head and says: “Today I heard from my roommate, then after the graduation, she would break up with her boyfriend because of being in different place.”

“…….”

“Also, there’re lots of undetermined factors.” Sang Zhi says, “I also don’t know what are our undetermined factors, so I just think about us, it seems to be an age difference.”

“Why are you unsure of our age difference?”

“It’s just the time you take me to meet someone, would you be embarrassed that to say that this is your girlfriend? Because after you say it, then they might respond ‘oh, I thought this is your daughter’– “

He uses to her habit to exaggerate, Duan Jia Xu laughs: “It’s okay, I feel it sounds…….”

Sang Zhi: “Em?”

“I would be proud.”

“……….”

—–

Sang Zhi has come over to Duan Jia Xu’s house several times so she has clothes over there, she doesn’t need to return to the dorm. Recently she has few classes left and she is waiting for the examination week.

She enters the master bedroom, Sang Zhi takes out a clean cloth to change her clothes. She pays attention to the time, it’s the time she uses to call Li Ping. She calls Li Ping and chats for a while then she hangs up.

Sang Zhi sits down on the bed and daydreams for a while. Then she releases her breath. She stands up and thinks of something. After that she goes to the bathroom to take a shower. When she is done, she takes her phone again and sends a message to Sang Yan: [Ge Ge, help me.]

Sang Yan doesn’t reply immediately.

She waits for a while then puts down her phone. She uses her towel to wipe her hair to dry it.

This time it’s not really late, it’s just 09:00 p.m.

Inside the bedroom, Sang Zhi could hear Duan Jia Xu is watching TV in the living room. She exits the living room and plans to stay with him for a while. When it’s time, she plans to go back to the bedroom to sleep.

Duan Jia Xu just finishes his shower too.

He is not really watching, he just listens to it and playing game with his phone.

Sang Zhi sits down on the sofa, she moves closer to him to take a look. She also doesn’t know clearly what he is playing. She could smell the faint peppermint scent on him. She asks: “I am quite fond of your new shower gel scent.”

Duan Jia Xu: “Em.”

“What brand is it?” Sang Zhi says, “I also want to buy a bottle.”

“Why should you buy it?” Duan Jia Xu lifts up his eyes and says: “Couldn’t you smell it from my body?”

“….”

In a next moment, Duan Jia Xu holds her hand and pulls her to his embrace. He laughs and adjusts his position and continues to hug her while playing his game. “I’ll let you move closer to make you able to smell me closer.”

Sang Zhi just stays in his embrace. She says nothing and just watches him playing game.

His fingers are long, his fingers are thin and slender. His nails are trimmed neatly.

Sang Zhi never plays hat game so she doesn’t really understand it.

Duan Jia Xu also doesn’t play it seriously, the time she is asking, he would answer her patiently.

The atmosphere inside the narrow living room is silent and peaceful.

Duan Jia Xu moves slowly.

After a new round ends, Sang Zhi wants to get up and returns to her bedroom to take her phone. She wants to download the same game to play. But Duan Jia Xu just lets go his phone, his phone falls on her thigh.

Then it falls down to the carpet.

Then he kisses her neck.

Duan Jia Xu’s breath turns rush, his hand start to get into her pajamas, it touches and massages her belly. His breath sprays on her skin. He keeps on kissing her.

Sang Zhi’s mind goes blank, she looks at him. Just like he expects, the next second Duan Jia Xu holds her head and kisses her lips. His tongue starts to explore her mouth. He kisses her and bites her lips.

After a while, he takes out his hand and tidies up her pajama’s top. He tries to control his breath.

Duan Jia Xu says: “If I am not afraid to scare you….”

He acts like he couldn’t vent his anger, his lips continue to slide down and bites her collar bone. He licks it.

“Now you would cry a lot.”