It’s a rare thing for her to have holiday, yet Xu Qin just gets a serious flu. No one knows whether it is because the change of the weather or because her antibody is weaken because of overwork.
Xu Qin doesn’t want to have an injection, she just wants to have two to three days sleep. She doesn’t want to wake up or think. She just wants sleep.
Fu Wen Ying said that she is mischievous so she asks the family doctor to give her an IV drip.
Xu Qin sleeps deeply till it’s night.
Meng Yan Chen is sitting down on the sofa and reading his book, Xiao Yi Xiao is sleeping on the sofa so soundly.
Xu Qin looks over at Meng Yan Chen’s gentle face, she watches him for quite sometime; Meng Yan Chen lifts his eyes and looks at Xu Qin’s eyes.
“You are awake?”
“Are you feeling better?”
Meng Yan Chen comes over and sits on the bed: “Your nasal sound is very heavy.”
Xu Qin looks at the IV drip: “With this, tomorrow I’ll be better.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at her hands on top of the blanket, he wants to stroke it yet he doesn’t do it.
She notices there’re flowers and plush toy on the bedside. Every time she is sick, Xiao Yu Xiao would give plush toy, but the flowers……..
“Who is it from?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Jiang Yu.”
Xu Qin: “How does he know?”
“Mama said to his Mama.” Meng Yan Chen’s words sound unhappy.
So what if he is unhappy, he also being arranged to go to blind date once a week. He couldn’t refuse.
Meng Yan Chen asks her: “Do you like Jiang Yu?”
Xu Qin looks at the IV and says: “I couldn’t say that I like him, but I also don’t hate him.”
Meng Yan Chen asks: “You mean —— you could accept being married to him?”
Meng Yan Chen declines to comment, he sits there for a while and says: “I’ll go down to take a bowl of porridge for you.”
He leaves and the room turns quiet. Xu Qin releases her breath, she wants to close her eyes and she suddenly hears Xiao Yu Xiao’s hoarse lazy voice: “Why are you unhappy?”
Xu Qin turns her head around: “You aren’t sleeping?”
Xiao Yi Xiao sits up and rubs his eyes: “I was disturbed by you guys.” He doesn’t come over, he just sits down and says: “You guys ah, I have enough of you guys. How could you guys be in this wretched situation. You guys shouldn’t take this matter into your heart. There’s something positive and bright in this life.”
Xu Qin also doesn’t want to beat around the bush: “Meng Yan Chen —- I already accept the unpleasant face. That year the time Mama asked me to change my name, I just understand what she means. He persuaded me. So I didn’t have any feeling toward him.
Xiao Yi Xiao: “But now you also have changed your name back again.”
“Not because of him.” Xu Qin cuts him off.
Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “You really like that Song Yan that much?”
Xu Qin turns silent for a while and asks: “I don’t know.” She takes a deep breath: “I don’t know because I couldn’t get it or because I live in very depressing life — I don’t know.”
“Then it means you really like him.” Xiao Yi Xiao sighs. “Okay, let me analyze it together with you.”
He comes over to her bed and sits down on the carpet. He looks at her on the eyes. “Qin Qin, let me ask you, how much is his salary a year? —- a firefighter I think, it might be around 5,000- 6,000.”
Xu Qin debates: “He is the leader.”
“Oh okay. Okay, let’s think that he get around 7,000 to 8,000. Our area is a prime area in this city, do you know how much the white collars on the SCBD near your house? They work for four to five years and at least their salary would be 20,000- 30,000. An ordinary family could raise the daughter to go to college and study till Master. It’s excellent. If your Ma and Pa know that you are with a firefighter, don’t you think your Pa Ma would oppose you? Do you think your Pa Ma would agree to be with him? The time you discuss the marriage, there’ll be a cruel point, understand? Don’t blame your Ma, she could look it clearer than you: Love could be gone in a flash, the fact —“
“But the time I just see him, I feel I’m alive.” She couldn’t help but to intervene, she just lets Xiao Yi Xiao shuts up.
“What do you mean?” Xiao Yi Xiao asks, his face turns serious.
“Do you know how it feels? Being strangled on your neck and being pressed down under water. You really want to come out from the water and takes a deep breath.” She looks at him. Her face shows that she is mocking herself: “That kind of feeling just like —- it’s clear that you are a death person, yet you want to live once again.”
Even if it’s only once.
Just like her youth, she wants to live once more.
She really wants it.
In her memory, she always made Song Yan be angry but every time he would forgive her.
That time she was together with Song Yan, perhaps she wanted to be protected by him, perhaps it’s for making Meng Yan Chen be angry, or perhaps it’s because her life is too repressive.
No matter what was the reason, fundamentally it had impure motives.
She knows he is good toward her.
Does she care about him? Of course. If not how could she tell him: “I am not Meng, I am Xu Qin.”
Being with Song Yan makes her happy? Happy. If not, she wouldn’t remember everything easily.
Her appetite was very low. Living in Meng house, she had a greatest fear. She was afraid that she would be kicked out because she ate too much. She restrained herself from indulging from any comforts. Though she frequently went out to have dinner with Meng Yan Chen but he is also someone that is able to restrain himself. She was dependent on Meng family for living so she secretly learnt to watch every people’s mood.
Song Yan is different.
Once Song Yan accompanied her to eat at the dining hall, he noticed that she ate so little. He frowned and be unhappy: “Are you a cat? What are you? A rat even eats more than you.”
Song Yan thought that the food is unsuitable to her taste so he took her to eat stir-fried dishes.
Xu Qin came from the north area, she never ate authentic local food. She couldn’t enjoy it. There’s a thick thing inside the tomato scramble egg.
Song Yan says: “This is Gou Qian (thicken with starch).”
Xu Qin frowns: “Hao Nan Chi (Too hard to eat)”.
It’s the first time for Song Yan to hear that kind of version, he laughed: “Hao Nan Chi? So what is it Hao (good) or Nan Chi (Too hard to eat)?”
Xu Qin asks: “How do you say it here?”
Song Yan: “Te Ta Ma (D*mm*t) hard to eat.”
Xu Qin straightened her lips and said nothing.
Song Yan: “ De Nan Chi (It’s especially hard to eat).”
Xu Qin imitated his words with a strange tone:”De Er ~~ Nan Chi.”
Song Yan laughed loudly: “Once again —— Te Ta Ma Nan Chi.”
Xu Qin didn’t say anything.
“What is it?”
Song Yan: “Why couldn’t I curse? —— Follow me. Quick, hurry up.” He pushes and shoves her: “Why are you so contentious, hurry up!”
Xu Qin finally follows: “Te Ta Ma Nan Chi. This cook is Sha Bi (Stupid c*nt).”
“…….” Song Yan is tongued-tie: “How could you express your words so naturally?” He then covered her mouth: “Girls could say Ta Ma (D*mm*t), but not Sha Bi. It’s not civilized, not civilized.”
Xu Qin smiled when her mouth was covered by his hand.
After making a fuss, she continued to eat a big scoop, Song Yan frowned: “What are you doing? This tomato scramble egg is not delicious, spit it out.”
Xu Qin had tomatoes inside her mouth, she glared at him. At home, in front of Meng Yan Chen, anything else, she doesn’t dare to do anything.
Song Yan kicked trash bin to her front. “Spit it out.”
Xu Qin hesitated for a while then she just spitted out the tomatoes to the trash bin.
He really liked her, she knew it.
He is not someone with good temper, yet he never said any harsh word toward her; he also isn’t a patient person yet for her, he was willing to stay in the classroom for a whole just for her; He isn’t a silent person, yet because sometimes she didn’t like to talk, he could accompany her to silent for an hour, two hours……..
He is a proud and arrogant person, yet he could forgive her and Meng Yan Chen.
That day was Friday, after the class ended, she should go home but she didn’t go home. He took her to go and roller skating. She couldn’t do the roller skating. Yet he held her hands patiently and taught her slowly.
His friends from time to time passed them, they were laughing and whistled. They joked about them.
Xu Qin slid several rounds and said: “Let go, I could do it.”
Song Yan: “Are you sure?”
Xu Qin: “I am.”
Song Yan lets her go, yet his arms were surrounded her. She couldn’t turn or stop skillfully. She was clumsy, suddenly she fell to the ground. She thought that she would fall down but Song Yan was quick and held her.
He held her in his embrace and let himself fell down. Song Yan was in pain that he bit his own lips. Xu Qin was startled and looking at him, she didn’t respond.
Song Yan covered his chest: “Why are you startled? Quick help me to massage it.”
Xu Qin was still startled for a while, then she suddenly snorted.
It’s the first time Song Yan saw her laughing so hard. She knelt beside him and giggled. Her skinny body was shaking while she laughed.
Very quickly, her laughter dissipated. She looked at his back and her face just turned into deathly stillness.
Song Yan looked back back and noticed Meng Yan Chen. He had ever seen him. Every Monday, Xu Qin went to the school, he would also be still inside the car.
Meng Yan Chen stood outside the roller skating ground, at first he didn’t look at Song Yan, his gaze was fixed on Xu Qin. He said: “Qin Qin, go home.”
Xu Qin lowered her head and be silent for a while. Then she started to take off her roller skater.
Song Yan didn’t stop her, the time Xu Qin stood up and wanted to leave. Song Yan stood up and asked her: “Who is he?”
Xu Qin answered in a low voice: “My Ge Ge (My brother).”
Song Yan laughed: “You think that I’m a stupid one.”
Xu Qin also didn’t explain. She just lowered her head and walked toward Meng Yan Chen.
Looking at how she just wanted to leave, finally Song Ya came over and clutched her wrist: “You are not allowed to go with him.”
Xu Qin looked at him.
His action of clutching Xu Qin’s wrist provoked Meng Yan Chen.
Meng Yan Chen finally warned Song Yan: “Let her go.”
Song Yan lifted his chin and then pulled Xu Qin into his embrace: “She is my girlfriend, is it your role to mind her?”
Meng Yan Chen came forward and wanted to punch Song Yan’s face. Song Yan let go of his roller skate shoes and grabbed Meng Yan Chen’s collar. He punched him.
Both of them started fighting.
Xu Qin stood there expressionlessly, she acted like she doesn’t know both of them.
Friends all around them separated both of them. Meng Yan Chen looked at how Song Yan still wanted to grab Xu Qin. He came forward and asked Xu Qin: “Who would you go with?”
Song Yan stopped moving and looked at Xu Qin, he was in rage.
Xu Qin finally regained herself and looked at Song Yan.
Song Yan said: “You are not allowed to go with him. —- I’ll send you back home.”
Xu Qin walked toward Song Yan’s side and said: “Song Yan, I want to go home. Tomorrow I’ll come again and find you okay?”
Song Yan looked at her with his cold gaze.
Xu Qin didn’t explain too much, she just turned her back and left in front of his friends.
His friends just stood there and didn’t dare to make sound. Song Yan didn’t say anything, He just picked up his roller skating shoes and walked two steps. Then he just put it down again.
The next day on Saturday, Xu Qin came over to the roller skating ground to find Song Yan.
Song Yan just ignored her, she waited and sat on the step.
Song Yan just played around and didn’t mind him. An hour, two hours, Xu Qin didn’t move, she just kept on sitting there silently.
One of his friends was kind, he came over and persuaded her: “Just leave, yesterday you were embarrassing Song Yan. He wouldn’t get back with you. Just go home.”
Xu Qin kept on sitting there and waiting, her gaze was on Song Yan.
The sky turned dark, yet Song Yan showed any intention to leave. He was tired to play, so he went to sit down on the long bench near the roller skating ground. He sat there and unscrewed the cap of the water bottle.
Xu Qin came over and said: “Song Yan, I’m hungry, let’s eat dinner.”
Song Yan looked at her cooly.
Xu Qin knelt in front of him just like a little cat. Her eyes were looking at him: “Don’t be angry, I come to look for you right?”
Song Yan was so furious that he bit his lips, he scolded her and threw away the water bottle. He took off the shoes and left.
Xu Qin immediately followed him and ran forward to hold his hand. He was still furious and just shook it away. She followed him and held his hem of shirt. This time he didn’t let her go. He just walked faster and she just kept on going with her.
During the dinner, all along he didn’t say anything. Xu Qin was also in alert. She felt that he wanted to ask something, he wanted to ask what is between her and Meng Yan Chen.
But after he was done, he put down his chopsticks and looked at her. Xu Qin just ate slowly. He didn’t say or ask anything. Until at last, he suddenly stroked her head and asked lightly:
“Xiao Jia Huo (Kid), do you miss me?”
Finally he just asked that question.
Xiao Jia Huo, do you miss me?
I miss you, I miss you so much that I feel that I’ll be crazy.
That moment, her hard heart just felt like it’s being opened. She felt pain in her heart.
He said: “I thought you would not come back again.”
But because she came back, he forgave her easily.
But the time they broke up, she said: “I don’t like this rotten Wu Fang street, I also think that you are a person without no prospect.”
She thought that he would not forgive her again.
After few years, he answered: “Your previous choice was not important. What is your choice now?”
Xu Qin lifts her hand to cover her eyes. This is intolerably bullying her for not looking for him again.