Xu Qin walks faster and passes the corridor, she takes out her phone and calls the infection department. She reports the condition: “There were four to five firefighters inside the water before. Some of them might be hurt. Please let the emergency center colleagues to contact the firefighters. —- Em, okay, let’s get in contact again if there’s something else.”
She hangs up, she then immediately wants to contact Song Yan, yet she notices that she has no his phone number.
Sooner or later he should get that information, she shouldn’t be too worried.
She plans to take a look at Xiao Dong, she passes one of the sliding doo. She notices that Song Yan is inside the room. She thinks that she is wrong, she takes another look. It’s really him — He is sitting down on the bedside. He has changed his t-shirt and now he is wearing his coat.
Xu Qin pushes open the door, she notices that Song Yan is frowning as his action pulls his scar.
Xu Qin wants to come over to help, but there’s a woman coming over from the curtain of the bed. It’s the inspector of firefighter, who had come over to do investigation, Li Meng. It’s obvious she is coming over to bring Song Yan’s clothes. She approaches him and helps with his coat and collar. Then she also kneels down to zip his coat.
Xu Qin stops. Song Yan seems to notice her.
Xu Qin stands on the rear of the bed. She watches him coldly.
Li Meng just realizes someone is coming inside the room, she immediately lets go and goes to the side. She wipes the corner of her eyes and the time she turns her head, her eyes are red. She forces a smile toward Xu Qin.
Song Yan looks at Xu Qin and asks: “What is it?”
Li Meng feel that Song Yan’s tone is hostile, she pushes him lightly and apologizes to Xu Qin: “He always acts this way. He doesn’t have a good temper. Doctor, please don’t take offense.”
Xu Qin just shows her polite expression and says: “It’s okay.”
Song Yan is too lazy to mind her, he takes out his cigarette box to smoke it. He puts a cigarette on his mouth and wants to light it on.
Xu Qin says; “In the hospital you couldn’t smoke.”
Song Yan glances at her and just plays with the lighter.
Li Meng comes forward and take the cigarette from him: “Listen to the doctor.”
Song Yan looks at Li Meng.
Li Meng just blushes and somewhat a bit at loss about what to do. “Just go outside and smoke.”
Song Yan looks at her and suddenly turns soft. He smiles: “I’ll listen to you.” Then he puts away his lighter.
Xu Qin stands there and says nothing.
Facing this kind of situation, she keeps on being silent. She couldn’t run away, she just stands there. She is so busy today, her thought is a bit numb. Even her heart is pain but she couldn’t feel it.
This man clearly accepts any coo from another woman.
Lin Meng feels that Song Yan’s gaze is unpredictable but the next second when he said “listen to you”, she feels happy. She laughs secretly. She looks at Xu Qin and just withdraws her smile. She asks her politely: “Doctor, is there any problem? Is there anything that he needs to do? Do you want to check on his injury?”
Xu Qin shakes her head: “No need for now. Four days later he should come over to do check up again.” Then she just passes a form to Song Yan. “These medicines, taken orally and external use only.”
Li Meng of course intercepts to take it. She says to Song Yan: “I’ll go and take the medicine.”
“Let’s go together.” Song Yan stands up and takes all of his belongings on the table.
Xu Qin is not stupid nor she is feelingless. She could feel that he doesn’t want to stay for a long time with her. He doesn’t want to interact with her alone.
She has known it from a long time so she has prepared to be hurt.
The corridor is very narrow, Xu Qin doesn’t move away. Song Yan just passes by him and knocks over her shoulder.
Xu Qin sways lightly and says: “Stay, I have something to you.”
She turns her head and Song Yan also turns his head: “Talk here.”
Li Meng stands on the door and looks at both of them together.
Xu Qin glances at Li Meng and looks at Song Yan, she says: “I think it’s better to chat alone.”
Li Meng smiles easily: “Then I’ll go and take the medicine first.” She even closes the door like she is so relieved.
Song Yan walks and leans on the rear of the bed, “Say it, what is it.”
Xu Qin just gets into the point: “The injured person that you guys saved in the river, he has an infectious diseases.
“What kind of disease?”
Song Yan pauses. He takes out his phone and walks toward the window. He wants to give someone a call.
Xu Qin says: “I’ve contacted your group. There would be checkup.”
Song Yan puts away his phone: “Okay.”
He frowns and stands there for a while. Xu Qin couldn’t make out what he thinks. He takes out his cigarette and starts to smoke it.
This time, Xu Qin doesn’t stop him.
Xu Qin wants to give him time to digest this situation, she asks: “Except your back, do you have any more injury?”
“No.” Song Yan acts so calm.
Xu Qin recalls: “That car was in the water, there’s no blood on the water, Your back was injured but your back didn’t touch the water right. Did you touch anything bloodied?”
“If no, then the infection rate would be very small.” Xu Qin sighs.
“I know.” Song Yan smokes his cigarette: “I should be okay.”
“I thought there’s a team member, who had injury in his hand.”
Xu Qin says nothing.
Song Yan asks: “How about that young nurse?”
Xu Qin: “Her mood is not very stable.”
Song Yan nods and doesn’t comment anything.
Xu Qin: “No matter what, after six weeks, you guys should come over to our infection department to do a check up.”
“Okay.” Song Yan answers shortly.
“It’s okay.” Xu Qin says then goes outside. Song Yan also gets ready to leave. He throws away the cigarette to the rubbish bin. Xu Qin stops and doesn’t move.
Xu Qin couldn’t help but to ask him: “That woman before, she is your girlfriend?”
Song Yan asks back: “Is it related to you?”
“Heh.” Xu Qin laughs and says: “If you have a girlfriend, the time you rejected me, you should tell me that ‘I have a girlfriend’. It’s enough. You said a lot of unrelated and unimportant thing. You blamed me, You were quiet hypocrite.”
Song Yan looks at her with unthinkable gaze, he lowers his head and smiles. He is speechless. At last he just mocks: “Matter between us, you could just discuss it between us, why should we implicate another person?”
“The problem between you and me is because I left you right? You feel that I’m wrong, I also think that you are wrong. That time how old we were, we couldn’t support ourselves. That time could I just run away with you and abandon my parents? Could you be more mature!”
Song Yan laughs; “You are mature, so now you stand here and talk nonsense with me?”
Xu Qin says and warns: “Song Yan, don’t talk with me with that tone.”
Song Yan feels that she is too unreasonable, he feels so in rage: “What kind of tone you want me to talk you with? Talk with you like I’m cooing my sweetheart?”
Xu Qin: “You said that we should talk about what’s between us, you are the one that says it. Now should we consider this matter on its merit, and not sway by personal feelings?”
“I get what I deserve.” Song Yan says coldly. “Then tell me if you stand from my point of view, why should I reconcile with you? Xu Qin, that year you kicked me away like you kicked a dog! Tell me —“ Suddenly he says: “— huh” He couldn’t say it anymore.
He recalls what happened back then.
“I feel it’s useless to talk with you about it now. You just think of yourself, I would say nothing to you.”
Xu Qin laughs coldly: “What do you want? You want me to cry and admit my mistake to you, how I regret to break up with you?”
Song Yan: “No need, you never regret it.”
Xu Qin: “Yes, I never regret it. If I need to choose again, I would make the same choice. If it’s you, wouldn’t you——“
“It’s unimportant of what you chose in the past.” Song Yan cuts her off. “It’s meaningless now.” He looks at her eyes and asks: “Now what is your choice?”
Xu Qin is startled, she is speechless.
They both just look at each other.
Suddenly Song Yan just laughs: “I just know it.”
“Letting your mood off, but it’s still meaningless.”
He leans on the window and looks at the window. He says: “You tell me to be mature, but you are childish too. Now we could just nod whenever we meet like adults? Why should we keep on pondering on trivial matter? Em? You know nothing, you are like tearing a wound apart. So next time we meet, maybe we don’t even need to nod.”
Xu Qin’s face turns pale. Song Yan continues:
“You talk all of this to me, simply to want me to understand your difficulty. Okay, I understand you now. But understanding is not the same as reconciling. If we reconcile, next time if there’s a problem, you also without any doubt makes the same choice. Xu Qin, I’m a person that would be thirty soon. I’m not old, but not young anymore. For some heartbreak, when I was young, I could get it through. I would recover quickly. But at this age if it happens again, it might make me lose my life.”
Song Yan keeps on talking.
“The matter of feeling there’s no right or wrong; You said that you are not wrong, I agree; You are right for the road you choose, you should bear the consequence and go on.”
Xu Qin stands on the ground and doesn’t move.
Song Yan walks toward the door.
The time he passes her, Xu Qin still doesn’t want to let him go. “You really hate me?”
“No.” Song Yan says. “I don’t hate but I also don’t want to have anything to do with you.”
Why, it sounds better than saying that he hates her. But now she feels that it’s too dull, she couldn’t grab anything.
The time Xu Qin feels her heart is so in pain, Song Yan stops in front of the door. His back is facing her, he holds open the door and stand there for ten seconds. Then he says: “I am wrong too.”
“I couldn’t give you a lot of things you want. I am lacking of that ability, I’m very sorry.”
Song Yan leaves.
Xu Qin stands there for a while. she places her hands on her pocket. Her fingers are clutched tightly. She feels it’s hard to breath, she opens up her mouth. She tries to breath slowly. She feels her heart would explode soon.
She stands there and tries to calm her breath. She exits the room and passes the corridor. She notices that Li Meng has gotten the medicine and waits near the front door. Song Yan walks toward her and Li Meng smiles at him. Both of them leave.
Xu Qin keeps on watching them, she is wondering whether he would look back or not.
But he doesn’t turn his head around.
Xu Qin walks toward the restroom, she switches on the water tap. She starts to wash her hands roughly. One by one. She keeps on scrubbing it till it turns red then pale.
She doesn’t feel her hands are in pain, but she feels something itchy on her face. She raises her head and touches it. It is a hot tear.
It’s a different kind of tear than last time when she cried in Di family house.
This time she couldn’t control her tear.