Secretly, Secretly; But Unable to Hide it (偷偷藏不住) by Zhu Yi (竹已)~ Chapter 85

For convenience, Duan Jia Xu just directly drives the car to the airport.

At first he wanted to send Sang Zhi back to the dorm, but she says that she wants to send him so Duan Jia Xu doesn’t stop her. On the way, he contacts a reliable substitute driver. When they arrive at the airport, he accompanies her to wait for the substitute driver to come.

He does thing in a slow pace, he doesn’t rush things yet Sang Zhi feels even panicky. She just drags him to the inside of the airport: “Don’t wait anymore. You’ll be late.”

Duan Jia Xu just lets her to pull him. “It’s still early.”

Sang Zhi: “I’ll send you off to the airport security check first, then I’ll come out. The driver would be here soon.”

Duan Jia Xu thinks about it and doesn’t oppose it: “Okay.”

“For the Labor’s Day I would come back to Nan Wu, you don’t need to com here.” Sang Zhi walks toward his side and says slowly: “Also I just bought online a box full of ingredients to cook. It should arrive tomorrow.”


“Don’t eat takeaways too frequently, don’t be lazy to cook. If you are free, you could come to my house to eat. If you are shy to go alone then you could call my Ge to go with you too.”

Duan Jia Xu finds she is funny: “The time you reach the suitable age for marriage, you start to learn how to care of kid?”

“What do you mean care of kid?” Sang Zhi looks at him. “I’m just taking care of my old man.”

Hearing this, Duan Jia Xu just raises his eyebrow and doesn’t mind her words: “Em, it’s okay whether I’m old or not. I don’t care.”


“I’m okay with being yours.”


The time Duan Jia Xu passes the security check and Sang Zhi couldn’t see him anymore, she exits the airport. This time the driver has arrived. Sang Zhi greets him and then gets on the car.

Sang Zhi opens up her WeChat and informs Duan Jia Xu. Sang Zhi then notices there is a message from Shi Xiao Yu.

Shi Xiao Yu: [Today you met Jiang Ying?]

Sang Zhi hesitates and replies: “Em.”

Shi Xiao Yu: [Before she called me and kept on crying, yet she didn’t explain……]

Shi Xiao Yu: [Recently she was in a bad mood. If she did something bad, let me apologize to you for her.]

Sang Zhi then understands.

Probably Shi Xiao Yu couldn’t get any explanation from Jiang Ying so she wants to ask her about what happened.

Sang Zhi just makes a simple and concise explanation. [We were just passing by, we saw that she was hit and scolded by a woman. There’s nothing else, she didn’t do anything bad.]

It’s a short silence.

Shi Xiao Yu: [Okay, I get it. Thank you for telling me.]

Shi Xiao Yu explains: [This matter actually is unrelated to her. It’s her stepfather’s matter. Her Mama is getting ready to have a divorce.]

Sang Zhi doesn’t mind too much, she just replies “Em.”

Shi Xiao Yu: [Ay, I feel baffled. Though I could understand the family members’ feeling but it’s a bit over….. it’s unrelated to Jiang Ying. She even isn’t close too her stepfather.]

Sang Zhi doesn’t reply this time.

Shi Xiao Yu: [In the past Jiang Ying couldn’t figure things out. Because of this, she also lives a sad life. These years she was unhappy, she didn’t have a lot of friends. After this matter, she is much more okay. In the future, she wouldn’t come to find your boyfriend.]

Shi Xiao Yu: [Yet she might not be able to forgive him.]


Sang Zhi doesn’t know why Shi Xiao Yu makes it clear to her, she just looks at her phone for a while and laughs. [No need forgiveness.]

Sang Zhi: [We don’t need it.]

Blaming Duan Jia Xu for the mistake of his father and just saying “will not disturb, yet also not be able to forgive”.

Is it because she feels that she is very merciful and magnanimous?

Duan Jia Xu doesn’t do anything wrong so he doesn’t need any forgiveness from anyone.

He never creates a disturbance, he just wants to distance himself with this matter.

Sang Zhi: [In the future, don’t tell me anything about her. I’m not close with Jiang Ying, I am also not curious about her matter.]

Sang Zhi: [Also I know that she is a victim.]

Sang Zhi: [But she is not the only victim.]

Then Sang Zhi just puts down her phone and looks at the scenery outside.

She remembers that during her birthday she hopes that the earth would be peaceful.

She hopes that in this world, there would be no criminals in the darkest corner of the world.

She hopes before that the offense, they would consider the consequences, especially for the family. She hopes that they would ponder how the family would live because of their action.

If this hope is too great.

Then Sang Zhi hopes.

That one day, people could distinguish clearly the offender and the offender’s family.


Sang Zhi buys the ticket back to Nan Wu for 1st May in advance, yet it’s not coming in handy. Because in the last day of April, Duan Zhi Cheng passes away.

Till his death, he even didn’t open his eyes for the last time.

His life ends by the time he was seized with panic. This lifetime he couldn’t compensate his sin, he even let down his family.

The time Duan Jia Xu gets the call, he is so calm.

Because he knows that sooner or later that day would come, it’s just it comes when he didn’t expect it. He doesn’t feel anything much. He just books a flight back to Yi He.

The time he gets off the plane, he calls Sang Zhi.

They meet in front of the hospital entrance.

Sang Zhi comes over and holds his hand. She doesn’t know what should she say to him. She just simply says: “I would accompany you.”

Duan Jia Xu: “Em.”

When he enters the mortuary, Duan Jia Xu looks at the man, who is covered with a white sheet. He reads the name label: “Duan Zhi Cheng.” He comes over and pulls it a bit.

It shows Duan Zhi Cheng’s rigid and colorless face.

Duan Jia Xu says: “Congratulation to you.”

You don’t need to face your mistake and just pass away.

Duan Jia Xu considers for a while and says with a low voice: “If you meet Ma, please don’t look for her again. Don’t hurt and harm her. Let her live a happy life.”

Then Duan Jia Xu watches Duan Jia Xu’s face for a while. He feels that he has nothing else to say to him and closes his face with the white bedsheet.

Duan Jia Xu looks at Sang Zhi: “Let’s go, let’s handle the administration.”

Sang Zhi lifts up her head and nods. She watches his expression cautiously. She is sad for him, she is at loss for his calm demeanor. She leans closer and once again holds him.

“What happened to you?” Duan Jia Xu says gently: “It’s okay, I’m not sad.”

After all he had passed the age of dreaming.

He also knows that in this world there’s only little miracle. He hoped that Duan Zhi Cheng could be conscious, yet he understands that it’s low probability.

They exit the mortuary.

Sang Zhi suddenly stops walking and opens up her arms wide: “Hug hug.”

Duan Jia Xu is startled and bends his body. He hugs her. He could feel that her little hands are patting his back. She says: “I couldn’t say to you that it’s okay.”

Because he is not okay.

“But I could accompany you to pass the sad moments together. I would accompany you for every matters.” Sang Zhi says: “You don’t need to endure it alone.”

I hope that knowing this you wouldn’t feel it’s hard to bear.

Hearing her words, Duan Jia Xu’s smile disappears. He hangs his eyes low and suddenly calls after her: “Zhi Zhi.”


“Am I really really old?”

She doesn’t know why he suddenly say those words but Sang Zhi denies it seriously: “No.”

Duan Jia Xu’s Adam Apple bobs like he is enduring his emotion. After a while, he speaks up: “How could I have no Pa Ma anymore ah?”


Sang Zhi feels sad too, she hugs him even tighter. Her eyes are red, she tries to endure her sob and says slowly: “I’ll accompany you.”

For whatever I have, I would give it to you.

For the warmth and love that I get, I also would give everything for you.

“Let me make a promise to you okay?” Sang Zhi says: “In the future, we also will have a family. I will accompany you for a long time. My family members would also be yours.”

“Em.” Duan Jia Xu repeats: “We also will have a family.”

Sang Zhi strokes his head and learns to talk like him. She says seriously: “For everything that other people have, our Jia Xu would have it too.”

Duan Jia Xu laughs, he says hoarsely: “Okay.”

Yet indeed it couldn’t eliminate the past.

At this moment, finally it seems to be throughly passed.


In the tenth of July, Sang Zhi comes back home for summer vacation.

After finishing her exam, Sang Zhi just takes the taxi to the airport to go back to Nan Wu. The next morning, she is taken by Duan Jia Xu to go to take a look for a new apartment.

They are looking at the prototype of the apartment.

Three bedrooms, two living room, two bathrooms and a small balcony. The room is not that big. Yet it has a good environment.

It’s quite fine.

But the price is something that Sang Zhi feels hard to accept.

She is afraid that the agent would hear her, she leans closer to Duan Jia Xu’s ear and reminds him: “It’s too expensive.”

“Our Zhi Zhi plans to use this house as a ‘cage’,” Duan Jia Xu says again: “If it’s too cheap, you would be embarrassed to show it off.”


“Ge Ge is waiting to be ‘caged’.”

“……” Sang Zhi frowns: “Just buy the two-bedrooms one.”

“Xiao Hai, this is an apartment that we would use for our marriage.” Duan Jia Xu says: “One for us, there should be rooms for my Xiao Hai’s Xiao Hai (my kid’s kid).”

Sang Zhi is very serious: “Then we just need two bedrooms.”

“We should have a study room.” Duan Jia Xu says: “Ge Ge never tries it inside the study room—“

Sang Zhi bites her lips and pinches his cheek.

Duan Jia Xu couldn’t control his laughter. He smiles happily and asks seriously: “So do you like this one?”

Sang Zhi looks around and just says: “Expensive.”

“Em. Then just this one.”Duan Jia Xu has come over to take a look and he feels this is okay. But he wants to ask Sang Zhi’s opinion. “I would tell the agent, next day we would come with the papers.”

Sang Zhi says nothing else.

When they are out of the marketing office, Sang Zhi couldn’t help to say: “Why you–“

Duan Jia Xu: “Em?”

Sang Zhi grumbles: “You look quite handsome.”

Duan Jia Xu smiles: “Then?”

“You have a good temper.”


“You have a great education and skills.”


“Then now,” Sang Zhi also doesn’t know how should she explain her feeling. She says “You are quite rich too.”

Duan Jia Xu just responds: “I also have a great body okay.”

“…….” Sang Zhi doesn’t want to let him to praise himself overly so she ridicules him: “It’s obvious that there is nothing great about your body.”

Hearing this, Duan Jia Xu looks at her: “Nothing great?”

Duan Jia Xu: “Okay.”


“After all I depend on my appearance to ‘eat’.” Duan Jia Xu says: “It seems I should put more effort.”


They both get on the car.

Sang Zhi looks at the time and says: “Send me to the Shang An Plaza, today I have a high school reunion. I have promised that I’ll come”

Duan Jia Xu: “Tonight I’ll eat at your house.”

“I know. Ma has told me about it.” Sang Zhi says: “I’ll go there in the afternoon and eat lunch with them. We would chat and I’ll not stay there for a long time.”


Duan Jia Xu just sends her over to Shang An Plaza, then he goes to the supermarket nearby Sang Zhi’s apartment to buy few things. Then he goes to Sang Zhi’s house.

Because it’s weekend, Sang Rong and Li Ping are at home. He sits on the living room and chats with them for a while. Then he goes to the kitchen with Li Ping to help her.

After a while, Li Ping looks at the cupboard ands says: “Ay, Jia Xu, help me to go to Zhi Zhi’s bedroom. Please bring me the plate there. Yesterday she had a midnight snack and I forgot to take it out.”

Duan Jia Xu nods: “Okay.”

Duan Jia Xu washes his hands first then goes to Sang Zhi’s bedroom.

This bedroom. He has come inside once. That time that little girl was so nervous and pulled her inside. She used a worried tone when asked him whether he could pretend to be his Ge Ge to meet her teacher.

It’s been years and the room remains the same.

It’s not big. There are one bed, one table, one chair, and one wardrobe. There’s nothing else. It’s arranged in delicate and soft style. Most of them are in pink color.

The blanket is messy and scattered on the floor, there are several clothes aroudn the bed.

Duan Jia Xu helps her to pick up the things and folds the blanket. He then notices several dolls that are arranged near the bed.

They are all from him.

The toys on the table, the makeup bag, the backpack, they are all from him. It’s his mark on her life.

Duan Jia Xu goes toward her table and wants to take the plate. He then notices a sketchbook. He straightens his lips and takes it. He flips it open.

In a next moment, a paper falls out from it.

Duan Jia Xu looks down and reads what is it on the paper.

My dream:

1. Get into Yi He university

2. Duan Jia Xu

The writings are soft and the paper is wrinkled.

The second one seems to be smeared with a blank ink. It seems to be smeared so hard that the paper would tear. But he could see clearly the words on it.

Duan Jia Xu turns stiff. Then after a while, he picks up that paper. He lifts his head and looks at the milk bottle near the window.

It’s all full of stars.

He goes over and holds that milk bottle.


Sang Zhi arrives back at home around 05:00 p.m.

There’s only Li Ping in the living room, this time she is watching the TV. Hearing noises, Li Ping looks over and asks: “You are back?”

Sang Zhi nods and asks: “Is Jia Xu Ge here?”

“Em. He helped Mama to cook for the whole afternoon. He is resting inside your Ge’s bedroom.” Li Ping says: “It’s almost time to eat dinner. Go and call him out to eat.”

Sang Zhi replies “Okay”. Then she goes to Sang Yan’s bedroom. She feels relaxed with Duan Jia Xu so she just opens the door. In an instant, she sees that man is sitting down and leaning on the sofa.

He is holding a cigarette and looking at his phone. He is wearing a white shirt and trousers.

In a next moment, he just lifts up his head.

He looks enchanting and seductive.

It’s a familiar scene.

Just like in an afternoon few years ago.

The young Sang Zhi because full of worry, she just opened the door rudely. Then she met the twenty years old Duan Jia Xu.

He always be so indifferent, he didn’t care about anything. For her preposterous action, he doesn’t change his expression and just lets her be.

He is gentle and cold, he is dazzling.

He is a hidden treasure that couldn’t be hid.

Just like that Sang Zhi enters his world.

She lets this man occupies her whole youth.

It’s her hope yet she couldn’t get it in the past.

Sang Zhi just stands there for a while.

“Come here.”

Sang Zhi says nothing and just comes over.

This moment Duan Jia Xu holds her wrist and pulls her to his embrace. He sticks close his lips to her ear. He says hoarsely: “You are —“

He pauses and finishes his words seriously.

“my only wished-for.”

Sang Zhi lifts up her head and looks at his eyes. She pursues her lips and sobs.

Sang Zhi immediately recalls what happened in her youth.

That time she tries to control her feeling yet she couldn’t approach him. She couldn’t say it to anyone. It’s sweet and sour secret for her.

She ever cried alone because of it.

She had ever wanted to cross him out of her life; cross out her feeling like it doesn’t exist.

She used to say with sobs: I wouldn’t like you anymore.”

Yet the time she met him once again, she was utterly defeated.

That deep crush, at first she wanted to hide it inside her heart forever, she doesn’t want to let anyone notice. Yet at last, it becomes something that she couldn’t hide.

At this moment, she feels that it’s unnecessary to hide it.

Because it is always her dream.

and at a time, she also become him, his only dream.

~The end~


Hi guys,

It is finally the end of this novel. I really like how this author developed the story between Duan Jia Xu and Sang Zhi, how the author potrayed Sang Zhi as the one in love. Yet on the other side though she is a younger woman, she is bold and brave in protecting her own man in her own way. I hope you guys also enjoy this story. I didn’t expect to finish translation of this novel so fast. I will miss Duan Jia Xu and Sang Zhi a lot. I hope you guys do enjoy this story as much as me.

Btw, I have started to do translation for “Waiting for You in a City”. “Waiting for You in a City” is quite slow novel so it might take sometimes for me to update. I might take another novel to translate. I am still looking for novel that as sweet as this one. 🙂

PS: If you guys have any novel recommendation to be translated, please do not hesitate to commen. Do take note that I prefer modern novel and not fantasy.

At last, stay safe & healthy wherever you are!


88 Tang.

12 Replies to “Secretly, Secretly; But Unable to Hide it (偷偷藏不住) by Zhu Yi (竹已)~ Chapter 85”

  1. I can’t believe it’s the end (TAT)/, I loved this story too much, it was so sweet and the protagonists so real. Thank you very much for your work, I hope to read your next project !!

    PD:The epilogue and extras are still missing, right?


    1. As for recommending novels I don’t know much but there is a promising Chinese author named Han Yan ((胭), she wrote “My Mister Ostrich” maybe she has other beautiful novels

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As for recommending novels I don’t know much but there is a promising Chinese author named Han Yan (含胭), she wrote “My Mister Ostrich” maybe she has other beautiful novels


  2. Wow… that’s really the end of a very good and interesting story

    I like the way it ended so much

    Thanks Tangtang for giving me a chance to enjoy this novel

    Keep up the good work .


  3. This novel reflects so many things

    How life is always turn around us
    How it’s show effect run from responsibility can lead to many things
    How we really can’t predict what happened in the future

    Feels so much warm, love
    Being -binge read in just one day
    Thank you for translating this so much loved Novel


  4. This was a great read! Thank you for your effort in translating. I do want to make a novel recommendation. The chinese novel ” Little Sweetheart” was dropped by another translator. I found this in Novel updates. It’s a very, very sweet novel that I would love to be translated fully. I hope you keep translating. I have your web page bookmarked. Stay safe!


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